Wylde Q. Chicken Award Winners
2006

University Laboratory High School

2006 Wylde Q. Chicken Award Winners:
Tess Garvey & Batia Snir
Stately InSTALLations
Honorable Mention:
Langston Allston-Yeagle
The Daily Langston
 


Langston expresses fury that he didn't take home the big enchilada




Uni High Director Kathleen Patton presents the awards



2006 Wylde Q. Chicken Award Winners:
Tess Garvey and Batia Snir
Stately InSTALLations

Introduction by Marilyn Upah-Bant:

This one is hard to imagine but let me try to set the stage--one enters the ladies loo and starts finding little bits of "stuff" from travel agents, the web, etc., strewn on the shelf in the back of the stalls and on the walls at the beginning of January. At first, it seems random. Then, all of the sudden, it is obvious that this "stuff" is related to a particular state--but which one? What's going on? The fact that faculty and students share the same rest room facilities added to the intrigue. Maybe you had to be there...but it was pretty darned strange!--MUB

Nomination by Sara Sligar:

I would like to nominate Tess Garvey and Batia Snir for their, ahem, STATEly work in the first-floor girls' bathroom. These bright young lasses have dazzled the eyes of their fellow bathroom-goers with their interesting (and educational!) signs centering around a specific state each week. Tess and Batia include maps of the state, movie posters mentioning the state, classic recipes from the state, and, my personal favorite, fun facts about the state! Everyone enjoys these signs, and they have even warranted many posts in Ms. Patton's Gargoyle blog.

As if this creativity is not Wylde enough, they also try to post their signs in very creative manners. For instance, when they focus on North Carolina or North Dakota, they put the signs on the north side of the bathroom. They also always take especial care to distribute the signs evenly among the stalls, so everyone can partake of the greatness!

These two paragons of society have amused me to no end! I will try to get you some "evidence" later on in the week, but I hope that this e-mail comes soon enough for you to consider Batia and Tess for their community service!

From Principal Kathleen Patton's Blog:

Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Nancy Drew and the Mystery of the Bathroom Walls

Something mysterious is going on in the girls' first floor bathroom. I've heard people wondering about it, but it remains unsolved and ...well, mysterious. It started a few weeks ago with just a couple of random Utah-themed pictures stuck to the stall doors. Then a flurry of Maryland items replaced them. Maps, pictures, logos, symbols. Bizarre. Then, this week, Maryland disappeared and was replaced by Alaska. Recipes for Baked Alaska, pictures of whales, maps of Alaska.

As many Uni phenonema are, this is quirky, interesting, and thought-provoking. Will the phantom poster ever reveal a punchline? Are these state postings random, or will a pattern emerge eventually? Is it the work of one person, or are a series of stateophiles competing for glory for their favorite places? Is this a statement in protest of David Boyle's lack of attention to the Stall Vocab as of late?

What is up, Uni?

Saturday, March 11, 2006
Bathroom secret discovered!

I would like to say that it was brilliant detective work, but really it was blind luck and good timing: I stumbled upon the secret to the bathroom mystery.

Like many other secrets, though, when you start to think you know something, it just becomes more mysterious. For example, I know WHO is posting the states stuff now, but the WHY is still a riddle, wrapped in an enigma, and shrouded in mystery.

For the record, my favorite display to date has been Hawaii. There was a fishbowl on the window sill filled with water and toy fish, and labeled "Pacific Ocean." Brilliant.


Artifacts from the Rhode Island inSTALLment

Rhode Island Scene Rhode Island Map


Honorable Mention:
Langston Allston-Yeagle
The Daily Langston
Nomination by Stephen E. Rayburn, English teacher:
I want to nominate Langston Allston-Yeagle, Class of 2010, for the Wylde Q. Chicken award this year.

Langston is not your run-of-the-mill stellar Uni student. His class work is adequate or better. No, Langston is a true man of the Chicken. He not only thinks outside the box, I think he LIVES outside of the box. No other Subbie considered doing their Business in Illinois research essay on the Chicago Mafia. In particular, though, I nominate him on the basis of his self-published school newspaper, The Daily Langston. I will, of course, provide copies of this mostly-daily rag. Just to give you a taste, though, from the DL we have learned of the current civil war between the USA and North Dakota and the recent spate of violent crimes associated with the Cutting Edge assignment in Subbie science. Not much escapes the probing investigative eye of Mr. Allston-Yeagle.

Yes, he is only a Subbie, but why not burden him now as a Chicken Laureate? Perhaps we can force the young wit to not only remain outside the box, but even move totally away from the box! I can assure you no upperclassperson can match this young one's creativity.

Wyldely yours,
Stephen E. Rayburn

Nomination by Daniel Wilson, student:
I am Daniel Wilson, a student, and am nominating Langston Allston-Yeagle for the Wylde Q. Chicken award. He is the one and only editor and permanent writer of "The Daily Langston," which is, as of now "An entirely unresearched and pointless newsletter on the inaccurate views of Langston Allston-Yeagle." So far he has made 10 issues of it, with topics ranging from the great Santa conspiracy to the 40-foot tall panda which, after being released from captivity by smurfs,attacked France. He made the first issue with no provocation and he continues to blast through the propaganda with hard, solid truth that we all can depend on. Every so-often he makes a new issue and simply prints a whole bunch of them and they circulate around the school. There (with one exception) is always only one article in each one. The paper is not as daily as it could be, often going for weeks without one issue, and then there will be two or three issues in a row. I think that this will be a good choice as a winner of the Wylde Q. Chicken award because it can tell the world about the "inaccurate views of Langston Allston-Yeagle." Its article topics are completely out of the blue.

"The Daily Langston", volumes 1-10
"The Daily Langston" volume 11, with paid Wylde Q. Chicken ad